To Live is to Fall

Sort of a poem but not really

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To live is to fall.

Humans are too weak to suffer indefinitely,

To fall completely,

Humans will form wings in the forms of lies and illusions

with feathers made of dreams and delusions

to raise themselves higher

Only to fall harder

Pardon me. I am completely hopeless. Why? Because I am no teacher. I am a student. And yet I dare to lecture.

I am but a single ball of unease. I am just searching. Be it women, the truth, whatever. I leave it to your imagination.

I am just, definitely, searching-

Searching something that is only real by being searched for, but is not real by being real.

When the truth is real on earth, man is no longer human.

Nothing but pigs in human form.

The truth feeds man, and man is just a pig that eats it.

However, what I say is not the truth, or anything close.

Is it the meaning of an era?

In any age of destruction and turmoil

Its expression is of an uncourteous nature.

“People die when they are killed.”

There is nothing that cannot be broken.

What I am saying is not the truth or anything.

It's not great enough to be searched for.

Truth is not so great that you can sleep forever without eating food.

I have been broken from the beginning. All I am doing is searching.

“You. Yes, you! Why do you search?” I am not so grand as to not be searching. I am not so grand as to say “This is a pain” and sleep for eternity without eating.

I search. And, along the way, I create.

I create things with all my might.

But, these things will all surely break.

But, for just me, with my effort, they just barely stay intact. But beyond that I can do nothing.

I don't like miserable honesty.

Literature is different from honesty without tricks.

It is the underlying truth of literature that a life of lying is the basis of everyday life.

The good go to heaven, the bad go to hell, and the newborn baby goes to purgatory.

Not only babies, but also all who are self-reflective, and thus shameless,

are sent to purgatory.

They are dolls that imitate humans

Puppets on strings

Created sick, ordered to be well.

Nothing betrays a person more than pleasure.

Because nothing can be fantasised more than pleasure.

My soul has never been filled with pleasure.

It’s a pleasure killer.

But I can't help but seek pleasure.

I can't help but think about it.

You do not speak in public with courtesy,

but by your elegance, are your souls not true or noble?

In the world of human beings, things do not exist, but are made.

So even if I despair of reality, I do not despair of living.

I will go on a big offensive from this place as well.

There is a dawn, for me too. Because I live in hope.

Instinct is a sad thing.

There is nothing I can do about it, something immutable, something absolute, a weight that I bear on myself, nothing so disgusting.

But emotions are artificial. They can be made.

Human life can be created by twisting instincts.

Once I read a book. I thought that the great truth, the philosophy of reality, was told there, and I read it with more enthusiasm than anything else.

People who read obscenities are not more obscene than the healthy and elegant people.

If I had been a child who did not despair of this reality when I read, I would have read these obscenities on my own.

The men who read the obscene books are not obscene, but it is obscene to dismiss them as obscene

Human beings do not live only in the flesh.

If they don't read it, they fantasise about it. And never get bored.

They will have their noses snapped against the stingy eroticism of literature,

They will read in a ridiculous way such as that of an erotic writer.

An exposed actress or an exposed dance hails the artistic eroticism of the artistic actress purified and enhanced.

Exposing obscenity and stuff like that as disgusting is disgusting.

The sleazy obscene, no-brained “saints” frothing at the mouth in righteous indignation

should be on the street

selling pencils from a cup.

Human beings are naturally lofty beings.

More intellectual than physical.

The body is boring. Disgusting.

Only primitive man does not get bored.

If you have knowledge and stuff, you can't help but get bored.

Pleasure is said to be unstable, but the pleasure of a dog or savage is not unstable,

so knowledge and things are unstable.

If you're going to get married, do it after you're bored with your body.

If you want to read a novel, you have to study it, become great, and then read it.

Being a general in the army is not great. Becoming prime minister is not great.

To be great is to be human.

To not be a doll or a pig.

The novel is the original poison.

A human being without anguish or sorrow is only bitten by a poisonous snake when he reads a novel.

You don't have to read it, and it's useless to read.

Novels are a deleterious drug, a slim medicine for the sick of the soul.

There is no way to cure the disease, a story is a toy that temporarily soothes you.

but they're not your toys.

Go over there. I'm already jealous.